PetiteBrigitte

Oddly enough it seems that the execs at Louis Vuitton DO care about their brand image! Despite years of gratuitously pumping the profits from their company, playing it up to the asian market, and moving production out of France, the company appears to have recognized its image is headed downhill faster than the Speedy bag.

So when Britney Spears drove a flaming pink Hummer and tapped her finger on a dashboard upholstered in the Louis Vuitton “Cherry Blossom” motif during her 2005 music video “Do Something,” executives at LVMH took notice. More accurately, they tossed their flutes of Moet champagne into the air and called up every lawyer in the house. And this was before Spears went off the deep end!

LVMH won their case in Paris civil court this week, ordering Sony BMG and MTV to stop broadcasting the portion of the video that features the Vuitton upholstered car. The music companies will also pay 80,000 euros in fines for breaking counterfeit laws.

The ruling said that the video was an “attack” on Louis Vuitton’s brands and its luxury image. Check it out for yourself while it is still on the internet (not for long)— but beware, it’s an attack on your ears more than anything else.

French first lady Cecilia Sarkozy attended the funeral of her first husband last week. Jacques Martin, whom Cecilia married in 1984 and had two daughters with, died at age 74 after suffering a stroke two years ago. Martin was a well known TV personality during the 70’s and 80’s.

Ironically, Nicolas Sarkozy married the couple in a civil ceremony when he was mayor of Neuilly. He would then marry the chic divorcee in 1996.

Who knew Cecilia had two hot blonde daughters?!

France still isn’t totally techno savvy (any trip to the local bank can show you that), but the days of the Minitel are long gone.

This month, you can stop fiddling with your LiveBox and cursing France Telecom, because the dawn of FREE WI-FI is upon us!

Thats right, Paris is a wi-fi city starting in mid-June. Just check out this map to see where you are covered.

Hilary Swank’s life and career couldn’t be looking better: she’s freshly divorced but dating her long-time agent, the new Pirelli calendar girl (featured above), and in post-production for a much anticipated movie (P.S. I Love You, also starring Gerard Butler).

Now the 2 time Oscar winner has her sights set on producing and starring in a remake of French film, Confidences Trop Intimes (2004). The film was a big hit for director Patrice Leconte, with some critics going as far as to say “it is one of the most beautiful love stories ever to grace the big screen” (Garbarz).

The plot is a case of mistaken identity. It is the story of a woman who thinks she is going to a shrink but ultimately ends up baring her soul to a shy accountant. Marvelously interpreted by French actress, Sandrine Bonnaire, Swank has her work cut out for her, but will likely rise to the challenge as she nearly always does (we’ve erased the memory of The Next Karate Kid).

Look for a release in 08. I’ll remind you.

“Manu militari!” Use your hands and Masturbate, says LePen.

Vandals spray painted both sides of the entrance to Sciences Po on Rue de L’Universite Friday night, defacing one of the most elitist institutions in the French education system.

The two poorly written phrases denounce fascism and make references to LePen. They are likely the backlash from Thursday’s forum at the school, which hosted the polarizing politician Jean Marie Le Pen. It seems the visit was less than pleasant for all parties involved.

The 78-year-old former paratrooper and National Front leader faced protests and heckling on his arrival at the event at Sciences Po. After telling the audience that women faced a “social handicap”, he responded to boos by shouting: “Bunch of imbeciles!”

Asked at the debate whether condoms should be distributed in high schools, he resorted to a language we all understand, Latin, to suggest that horny teenagers might take the problem into their own hands. He advised “those worked up” to resort to “manu militari”.

Thanks for the tip. We hadn’t thought of that.

Unfortunately, students have used their hands for other purposes tonight. The spray painting is large and unmistakeable on the limestone facade of the school. It is unclear if the attack was directed at LePen, or the school who organized the debate. Since 2001, Sciences Po has implemented a number of reform policies, including broadening its admissions to include more youths from economically depressed suburbs of Paris. The reforms are intended to expand the socioeconomic mix at the school, but have not gone without controversy. They are the first affirmative action initiatives in France.

Someone clean up that spray paint fast! I want my beautiful neighborhood back.

One would think Sciences Po students, if they were responsible for this act, would be smart enough to find better ways to protest (start a blog people!). Perhaps LePen was right, and they are in fact “imbeciles”…..

 Update: Sciences Po is grafitti free as of April 11, after an afternoon powerwash. An impressively fast clean-up: may the sheltered bubble of the 7th arrondisement live on!

Venice isn’t sinking anytime soon.

In fact, the Venetians are bringing their famous carnival to Paris this weekend, for a two day celebration at Port de Plaisance in the Bastille. Expected to draw over 20,000 visitors, the waterways of Paris will be transformed by gondolas and elaborately dressed Venetians.

In the words of Truman Capote, ” Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. “

In that case, lets indulge. Especially if any hot gondola boys are involved.

Porte de Plaisance. Metro: Bastille. 2:30-5:30pm Saturday and Sunday.

Today france opened secret files covering 50 years of U.F.O. sightings. The 1,600 sightings are well organized and can all be found at www.cnes-geipan.fr

Minutes after the site posted, the server crashed due to heavy traffic from worldwide U.F.O. buffs and scientists.

“It is a world first,” said Jacques Patenet, the aeronautical engineer who heads the office for the study of “non-identified aerospatial phenomena.”

Known as OVNIs in French, UFOs have always generated intense interest along with countless conspiracy theories about secretive government cover-ups of findings deemed too sensitive or alarming for public consumption.

“Cases such as the lady who reported seeing an object that looked like a flying roll of toilet paper” are clearly not worth investigating, said Patenet.

But many others involving multiple sightings — in at least one case involving thousands of people across France — and evidence such as burn marks and radar trackings showing flight patterns or accelerations that defy the laws of physics are taken very seriously.

Freaaakkkaaaaaay.

Why don’t the French LOVE Americans???

Snoop Dogg arrived in Paris today, and let’s just say …. If the brand image of LVMH didn’t take a hit, then France’s impression of Americans certainly did!

Snoop sings tonight with P. Diddy, at Bercy.

Wearing only a billboard and some nasty ballerina flats, a PETA crusader, bearing a striking ressemblance to Celine Dion, crashed the autumn/winter 07 pret-a-porter show of designer Christian Lacroix today.

Thankfully, some good-looking security guards managed to quell the situation, as cameras snapped away. Upon catching a glimpse of the woman’s ass, one guard immediately derobed to cover the sorry sight from the chic front rows.

The PETA protests, which have become fashion week commonplace, don’t seem to be making much of a difference in the designer circuits. Protesters also tried to attack a Valentino show, but were subdued before reaching the catwalk.

Theft most foul!

It all went down last night in the 7th arrondisement of Paris, at the home of Picasso’s granddaughter, Diana Widmaier. Theives broke into the apartment and stole 2 Picasso paintings and a drawing, valued at 50 million euros. The well known paintings were: “Maya a la poupee” and a portrait of Jacqueline (P’s second wife).

Two people were asleep in the house at the time of the theft… a little suspicious, eh? Blame the Ambien.

It will be interesting to see where these paintings turn up. With any theft on this scale, suspicion descends on many people, including the Picasso family, who stand to gain a substantial sum from insurance policies.

PetiteBrigitte’s Verdict: Round up the usual suspects!

French presidential elections are looking more and more American.

This year, the hotly covered battle between Segolene Royal (left) and Nicolas Sarkozy (right) has been the ONLY topic of conversation on French news outlets. And the election is still a long way off.

Offering a comic relief from the real issues facing France, Sarkozy and Royal’s camps are opting for more friendly “viral marketing” via the internet.

Sarkozy, the intimidating dictator representing the right, has started a website called www.discosarko.com. You can watch the normally straight-laced politician dance to KC and the Sunshine Band, do the moonwalk, or jive like Travolta. Apparently the site is working, and he’s collected one million emails to bombard with campaign info.

Royal, on the other hand, has entered the online world of Second Life. Her socialist campaign has created a virtual headquarters, and gives out buttons saying “Segolene for France” to fellow avatars. Members meet there and discuss issues such as France’s place in the EU.

What’s next? A showdown on Dancing with the Stars?

(O, you corrupt minds!)

Swarms of giant hornets are attacking France. Ecologists are blaming global warming for their proliferation.

According to an article in today’s Telegraph, the Asian hornets arrived in a piece of pottery in 2004, and have spread like lightning throughout southern France, especially in the Aquitaine region. While posing no significant risk to humans, they are singlehandedly wiping out all the lovely French bees, and impacting the honey production in France.

And guess where their antennae are pointing? North to Paris! According to the Telegraph,

The hornets can grow to up to 1.8in and, with a wingspan of 3in, are renowned for inflicting a bite which has been compared to a hot nail entering the body.

So beware on your next picnique in the countryside. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….