Archive | 12:04 am

FTV Pimp Club

14 Feb

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Everyone in Europe knows FTV. The cable channel has a massive distribution in nearly every country except America, and its creator Michel Adam is the most unlikely fashion entrepreneur in the world. That is because he is a PIMP. Catch a rare glimpse of him on the channel and you will see an overweight greaseball flanked by Bimbos and hanging out with the loser-set of Monaco.

FTV is a plight on the fashion industry.

First, lets look at the programming. Sure, we get a few runway shows from the major fashion weeks. We also get terrible runway shows from Asia, Mexico, and Greece. The model interviews are juvenile, and consist mostly of the phrase, “I love FTV!” followed by a giggle. The same segments repeat throughout the day, and they are interrupted by around 3 commercials. 3 permanent commercials. There is the Babylon commercial, showing Victoria’s Secret-esque angels fanning their wings and strutting around in thongs. Babylon is a brothel in Austria. So basically, FTV advertises… whores.

Between commercials are FTV promotions, narrated by a breathy orgasm-voiced woman who repeats the same words over and over. This is trance inducing: “Live. Fashion TV. Live. Models. Live. Fashion TV.” My favorite trance was around the holidays. “Happy New Year. Michel Adam. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!” Incroyable!

Then, back to programming. The cameraman immediately zooms in on the models breasts. Her butt. Her bikini line. You barely see the clothes, because the cameraman is honed in on skin.

At midnight, the show goes straight to models exposing themselves. Sometimes nipple shots caught from the runways. Sometimes scantilly clad lingerie runway shows. Sometimes playboy-esque calendar shoots.

In general, FTV makes all models look like whores and all men look like playboys and pimps. It degrades the fashion industry, while also doing a great job at degrading all women.

Sadly, I am addicted. Bravo Michel Adam, you dirty old man.

Update: FTV being banned in India for inappropriate content! Surprised?

Welcome Home

14 Feb

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I love passing by Emile Garcin– the most exclusive real estate agency in Paris. They sell the top properties in Paris, the most fantastic castles, and the most charming country estates. Their offices on Rue de l’Universite (6th) are on the street level and in the series of 3 windows are automated catalogs that flip their pages through the current offerings. This has proven to be a very smart marketing device, as someone is always stopped and looking… caught in a dream world where they are kings of the castle.

Making Emile Garcin even more enticing are the two handsome men who work there. I see them arriving in the mornings and leaving at night, always impeccably attired in well-tailored suits and perfectly coiffed hair. They both look like they have facialists, but the vibe is still heterosexual. Every week I get one step closer to walking in and inquiring about my future dream home.

Perhaps one of them could be my Prince Charming?

Check out your castle at www.emilegarcin.com. Note: Above photo is of Chateau des Alpilles, which is not for sale. It is an extremely charming and surprisingly affordable bed and breakfast outside of St. Remy de Provence.

Verdict on the YSL Downtown Bag

14 Feb

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I used to drool over the YSL Muse Bag. In fact I was walking near the Palais Royal last fall and almost walked into a lamp post because I was checking out a woman’s Muse. The problem with trendy bags, however, is their life cycle. I can’t decide if the Muse has hit maturity, or if it is still a chic bag. For example, I wouldn’t want a Balenciaga anymore, or an Edith bag, or anything Louis Vuitton. Unfortunately, I am not in a financial position to toss away last season… so I want a bag that will carry me through a few at least. Is the Muse that bag? According to the saleswoman at YSL Rive Gauche, on rue de Grenelle, the answer is OUI. The bag has been so successful that YSL is keeping it on board indefinitely, and never putting it on sale (the rest of last season currently is on sale, by the way).

YSL introduced the Downtown bag this season, and I can’t stop debating its future. Should I spring for it, even though it hasn’t established itself as the bag du jour? Will it be the next Muse? Or, is it destined to be the loser of the season? My opinion on the bag took an irreversible downturn when I read an article citing its resemblance to a maxi pad. With wings. I don’t think I can cope with that association. Decide for yourself (photo above).

Update: Reality check– while this bag looks practical, cool, and expensive– we cannot deny its luke-warm reception. It is NOT another “Muse,” and part of the reason stems from YSL’s failure to properly market the bag. They were late getting it into major magazines, and failed to get it in the hands of enough celebrities (or at least big celebs, we did see it on Ashley Simpson and Salma Hayek). These are the major criteria in launching a hit bag. So: a chic and practical bag, but not the rage… which might be a good thing.

Parlez Vous Model?

14 Feb

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Today I attended my first French lesson. I speak French at a fairly advanced level, but my goal is Jane Birkin perfection– and that remains elusive. After months of failed attempts at private tutoring, I stumbled upon the perfect French class. It combines my love for fashion with my desire to learn French.

Hosted in a quaint classroom in the Marais, the class is for mostly attended by models living in Paris. All the top agencies send their Brazilians, Russians, and other hybrid beauties there to learn French.
Perhaps you can sense where my story is headed: I walked into this class and felt two things– Old and unattractive. One girl, of semi-fame in the industry (and featured above), is a stunning 6 foot Brazillian, 21 years old, with a giant gold Rolex on her wrist. As we chatted after class, she told me about her work and travels, and then proclaimed herself to be OLD. If she is old, what am I? The whole classroom was beautiful. Including top male model Terry Gates.

Aside from the eye-candy, this class is for serious students who want to perfect their French. Olivier is an amazing and passionate teacher with a flexible schedule and unbeatable rates.

E-mail olivier.beaufour@wanadoo.fr

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